15 July 2002

OW! I've been hit by a brainstorm...time to revamp my premise!! Wish me luck!

Writing is not come easy for me. I see writers around me letting their ideas flow seemingly effortlessly. Each word is a battle for me, and even afterwards, I can see the "emptiness" of my writing. I never learned how to..."let go" with my writing. How to draw the writing out of my subconscious in its own form, not in the form that my conscious mind wants it to be. Does this even make any sense? I wonder if every writer goes through the same struggles I seem to be having? I sit down, I write, and everything I write is contrived. Fake. I am reading "How to Write the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass. And he points out every flaw that I see in my writing. My stakes are not big enough; why should anyone care about my character? I'm afraid of digging deep.... giving a piece of myself to my writing (a problem that has surfaced in my relationships...but that is another subject, for another journal). How do I move from "surface writing" to "deep writing?

06 July 2002

reading alli's blog, i realized, i haven't done enough to show the differences of the Mandoorians, and their attempts at becoming acclimated to a totally new environment. more to think on.

i'm auditing the BN course at forward motion. i am really wondering if i am just out of my league. other folks seem to pick ideas out of the thin air, and i struggle for each halfway passable idea i can grasp. i'm already behind in the homework, and that sucks. next class is thursday, and i have until tuesday to post TWO assignments. they aren't terribly difficult, but i just can't seem to get it together.

EP: coming along very, very slowly. this is going to be a huge editing job. i've got a hazy idea of how the end product should read, just not how to get there.