15 July 2002

Writing is not come easy for me. I see writers around me letting their ideas flow seemingly effortlessly. Each word is a battle for me, and even afterwards, I can see the "emptiness" of my writing. I never learned how to..."let go" with my writing. How to draw the writing out of my subconscious in its own form, not in the form that my conscious mind wants it to be. Does this even make any sense? I wonder if every writer goes through the same struggles I seem to be having? I sit down, I write, and everything I write is contrived. Fake. I am reading "How to Write the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass. And he points out every flaw that I see in my writing. My stakes are not big enough; why should anyone care about my character? I'm afraid of digging deep.... giving a piece of myself to my writing (a problem that has surfaced in my relationships...but that is another subject, for another journal). How do I move from "surface writing" to "deep writing?